President’s Favorite Pet Named Army “General” in Delightful Children’s Ceremony
10 October 2010 § Leave a comment
President and Chairman Vladik’s favorite dog Barky Stalin was “appointed” to the Koskvian Peoples’ General Staff today at a gathering for children at the Presidential Palace.
Revodna, 2 p.m. — At a gathering for the children of party officials at the Presidential Palace this afternoon, President and Chairman Mladik Vladik held a delightful ceremony in which both he and his favorite dog Barky Stalin took part.
With the children and their parents looking on with glee, and together with the Minister of Defense, President Vladik signed the documents making Barky Stalin a Major General in the Koskovian Peoples’ Army. He was given a custom-made uniform and hat, and spent the afternoon “parading” among the guests. Several of the children interviewed by this reporter — none of whom consented to be a identified, but they were Pili Schabowski and Anna Maria Hralkin — were sure to salute the new “general” as he trotted around them eating the cake crumbs.*
General Barky Stalin will report to Yuralsk City Military Installation tomorrow morning and take command of the 3rd Army.
The newly-installed general also received the “Presidential Medal of Socialist Victory, 1st Class” and a dacha near Lake Koskovia.
*”cake” is a kind of snack food recently invented by the Koskovian Peoples’ Food Production and Invention Laboratory and tested on these children. Reactions were mixed.