Devices Which Are Not Cameras Are Shipped to Citizens
1 July 2010 § Leave a comment
This is not a camera, video or otherwise.
Revodna, Palace of the State Security Service, 4:15 p.m. — The spokesman for the State Security Service, [Name Withheld], announced to the reporter for StateTV and RadioKOS that the SSS has begun shipping a brand-new device to all Koskovian households, in furtherance of the Revolution.
“I am pleased to announce the preliminary shipment of our brand new HouseTEK 400 devices,” [Name Withheld] said in the Amphitheater of the People earlier today. “These new devices, which are most definitely not cameras of any sort, are intended to make the lives of all Koskovians easier. The HouseTEK 400 represents the latest advance in household technology. In order to benefit from these amazing devices invented by our top scientists, any member of the household must simply position it with a view of the most heavily-trafficked area of the home, plug it in to a wall socket using the included charger, raise the antenna, and press the small button marked with a red circle and the letters R, E, and C. And that’s it!”
The reporter then asked the spokesman: “The benefits of this device must be amazing!”
[Name Withheld] responded, “They are. It will not be a very long time before all Koskovians realize the amazing benefits of this fabulous instrument. Naturally, this device is most certainly not a recording device.”
[Name Withheld] also provided the reporter with a detailed schematic of the new device, all though some parts were naturally blacked out. This amazing document was entitled “Introducing the not-a-camera HouseTEK 400!” and provided user instructions.