100 Lik Note Now Available
18 February 2009 § Leave a comment
Palace of the Peoples’ Bank of the PFDRK, 3 p.m. — Minister of Finance and Sport Janós Milka* today announced the immediate availability of the new 100 Lik notes. Early this morning, the notes were trucked to all the branches of the Peoples’ Bank throughout Koskovia. “These new notes will make the business transactions of every Koskovian much easier,” he explained. “Once again, we chose the bold color red to remind us all of the triumphs of the Revolution under President and Chairman Vladik and Deputy President and Vice-Chairman Kulik.”
The reporter from StateTV One and RadioKOS inquired about the similarity of design to the 100 ruble notes used in the Russian Federation, which drew laughter from the Minister at such absurdities. “Such similarities simply do not exist.”
He continued: “I mean, it is not as if we just hijacked twelve truckloads of currency on its way from the European Banknote and Stamp Printing Corporation in Berlin to Moscow using a specially-selected strike team composed of our top fifteen soldiers who underwent ten months of training for such an operation; and who, once in control of the vehicles, used a variety of false passports to cross from Germany into the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, and finally Koskovia and arrived late last evening and spent the early dawn hours altering the faces of the bills.
“Such assertions are absurd.”
Editor’s Note: It is untrue and counter-revolutionary propaganda to assert that anyone named Gustav Hruska ever served as Minister of Finance and Sport. It is also entirely untrue that a non-person named Gustav Hruska turned up in the Revodnan sewer system without a head early this morning for bungling the design of the 5 Lik note. Trust us.