Vice-Chairman Guides the Nation With a Steady Hand

12 August 2007 § Leave a comment


Vice-Chairman Kulik Addresses a Rally in Support of the War Against Dictarabistan in Revolution Square

Revodna, 5 p.m. — Vice-Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies Josef Kulik continues to guide the nation while President & Chairman Vladik recovers from his recent surgery.

“The President and Chairman and I remain in constant contact,” Kulik told an assembly of ordinary Revodnans earlier today. “My only role is to see that the President’s policies are carried out in the most efficient manner possible. Fortunately, the policies of the President and myself are exactly matched in every way. Don’t bother asking him — naturally, he would agree with me. As I agree with him. We agree with each other, in other words.”

Citizens will remember that it was Vice-Chairman Kulik who first alerted President and Chairman Vladik to the dangers posed by the rogue leader of Dictarabistan and his threats to cut off the vital supply of cubic zirconia to Koskovia. Once the Vice-Chairman convinced the President of the real and present danger posed by that nation, Kulik himself undertook the planning for the pre-emptive strike.

Under his guidance, the war has gone very well, although the Vice-Chairman has warned that it may take some time to complete all of the goals set forth by the Joint Military Command Council.


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