Vice Chairman Denies False Accusations

1 July 2007 § Leave a comment

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Vice Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies Josef Kulik

Revodna, 1 p.m. β€” At a press conference this afternoon, Vice Chairman Kulik denied that he had ever said the war with Dictarabistan would be a simple victory. The charge arose when a radical (and obviously mentally ill) peoples’ deputy lambasted Kulik for “decieving the people of Koskovia about the conduct of the war” at yesterday’s CPD meeting.*

“No, no, no!” Kulik told the assembled reporters as he shook his head in frustration. “War is always long and brutal. Never did I suggest otherwise. Never!”

When asked by the reporter from StateTV 1 on his assesment of the possible length of the war, he replied: “Long. We in the Central Committee have begun to refer to this as ‘The Long War.’ It needs total commitment from the people of Koskovia as well as their government. I deny that I ever suggested otherwise.”

To prove his point, Kulik played video excerpts from his speech of 1st July, at which he explained to the CPD that the war would last for a very long time, and require much sacrifice.

At the end of the conference, the assembled reporters applauded the Vice Chairman’s truthfulness.

[*Note: That deputy has since resigned and checked into the hospital with symptoms of high blood pressure, nausea, and a missing head. He is expected to recover.]

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