Grand Admiral Dedicates 500th Ship!

7 March 2007 § Leave a comment

Revodna, 4:00 p.m. — Supreme Grand Admiral Viko Pachinko, Chairman of the Central Koskovian Naval Command and Control Committee (CKNCCC) today dedicated the 500th addition to the great Koskovian Navy! This newest ship, the Triumph of the Working Class on the Ocean, is of the latest design. She carries a crew of seven thousand, and is so large and powerful she is commanded by three captains!

At the dedication ceremony, Supreme Grand Admiral Pachinko praised the workmanship and skill of all of the naval construction workers and the forward thinking of the Central Koskovian Naval Planning, Design, Pre-Production, and Construction Committee (CKNPDPPCC). By sheer force of will, the workers at the Central Koskovian Naval Construction Bay (CKNCB) completed this triumph of socialist planning in only fifteen hours!

“The Triumph of the Working Class on the Ocean represents the supreme naval achievement of the PFDRK under the leadership of our great and wise President and Chairman Mladik Vladik. With this commission, the great Koskovian navy is now the largest navy in the world, and the most powerful. All the other nations of the Earth tremble in sight of our super-ships!”

The gathered press were not aloud to take photos of the new super-ship, as that would violate national security. The ceremony was attended by many government leaders, and closed to the press.

The Minister of Information reminds the reader that it is un-Socialist propaganda to suggest that Koskovia has no navy — nor needs one — as Koskovia is a land-locked nation. We have more than one thousand admirals, don’t we? Then we must have a navy! Q.E.D. If you need proof, here is a photograph of an ACTUAL sailor in the great Koskovian Navy! This photograph was taken by this sailor’s shipmate (one of many, we assure you!):

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