Foreign Minister Invites Victims of Fasco-Capitalism!

24 March 2006 § Leave a comment

Revodna, 2 p.m. — Foreign Minister Rado Radswilicz issues invitations to several high-profile Americans to settle in Koskovia who are victims of the fasco-capitalist system!

Embossed invitations were dispatched to Michael Jackson, O. J. Simpson, Robert Blake and Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes with offers of free housing in the Revolutionary Square District of Revodna and employment in the PFDRK Central State Media and Film Studio.

As you may know, Michael Jackson, the “King of Pop,” has been harrassed for years by fasco-capitalist children in the USA who unfairly claim that he “molested” them, offered them “alcohol and drugs,” “fondled them,” “raped them,” etc. These charges are completely false, according to Mr. Jackson, and we beleive him, as he seems to have the same record of truthfulness as the the PFDRK Ministry of Information! He would make an excellent chairman of the State Central Committee for the Protection of Children.

Both O. J. Simpson and Robert Blake were accused of murder and despite their acquitals in the corrupt American courts, the American public has rejected them. As their lawyers said, both are completely innocent and have been treated unfairly by the fasco-capitalist American public. President and Chairman Vladik is so convinced of Simpson’s innocence, that he has offered the former actor a position within the President’s personal body guard unit. Mr. Blake, naturally, would make an excellent chairman of the Revolutionary Anti-Violence and Anti-Murder Committee!

Poor Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes! They have been derided in the American press for their sincere belief in the absolutely true religion of Scientology. Althought he PFDRK is officially athiest, we welcome those of all beliefs, especially one that is so clearly true. L. Ron Hubbard was clearly a genius and a prophet who would have made an excellent editor at the Daily Truth, as his reputation for truthfulness is well known, despite the American FBI raiding his home and charging him with fraud, and despite Alastair Crowley claiming that Hubbard was one of the greatest frauds he had ever met. We are sure that this is not the case, and we think that Cruise and Holmes would find a welcome respite from the fasco-capitalistic oppression which they both face every day!

Hopefully each of these oppressed people will soon come and live in the paradise that is the PFDRK where the truth is valued above all things. And each of these oppressed people have always been completely truthful, we are sure!

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