Chief Justice Resigns
19 January 2006 § Leave a comment
Former Chief Justice Mikhail Spasky
Revodna, 3 p.m. — Mikhail Spasky, the Chief Justice of the Completely Independent and Totally Legitimate Supreme Constitutional Court of the PFDRK (CJCITLSCCPFDRK), submitted his resignation to President and Chairman Vladik this afternoon. Justice Spasky cited his desire to spend more time with his family as his reason for stepping down. President and Chairman Vladik praised Spasky as “a true friend to me personally, and to the Revolution. His invaluable contributions to the completely independent and totally honest judicial system will be studied for years to come.”
UPDATE, 3:04 p.m. — Actually, he resigned due to ill health.
UPDATE, 3:06 p.m. — Well, he had a heart attack.
UPDATE, 3:07 p.m. — A heart attack after being shot.
UPDATE, 3:08 p.m. — In the head.
UPDATE, 3:14 p.m. — By the State Security Service.
UPDATE, 3:15 p.m. — Actually, he was shot for treason.
UPDATE, 3:18 p.m. — And fishing without a license.
UPDATE, 3:29 p.m. — Any reports of an individual named “Mikhail Spasky” which indicated that he was the Chief Justice of the Completely Independent and Totally Legitimate Supreme Constitutional Court are inaccurate. According to President and Chairman Vladik, no such individual ever existed. Any claims to the contrary are counter-revolutionary and un-Socialist propaganda.