Election Fraud Uncovered!

7 January 2006 § Leave a comment

Revodna, 2 p.m. — In a stunning announcement, the Minister for Counting Votes in All Koskovian Elections announced the discovery an instance of malicious electoral fraud in last Saturday’s election!

Apparently, Igor Yushinkio of the Vladikia City Electoral Commission reported that President and Chairman Mladik Vladik had only received 103% of the vote in his constituency, but that was a lie! The President in fact received 106% of the vote!

Comrade Yushinkio has submitted himself to the State Security Service for questioning when an SSS secret agent uncovered his fraudulent report.

President and Chairman Vladik said earlier today: “I am glad that the SSS is so vigilent in uncovering fraud and corruption in our midst. We must continue to root out all counter-revolutionaries, saboteurs, and fasco-capitalist spies where ever they may be lurking. Long live the Revolution!”

UPDATE: 3:34 p.m. — Comrade Yushinkio has been found guilty of espionage, fraud, money-laundering, sexual deviance, bank robbery, auto theft, counter-revolutionary activities, murder, reading counter-revolutionary materials, desecration of an image of President and Chairman Vladik, and cruelty to fish, by the State Security Service Instant Tribunal for Criminals. A sentence of death by firing squad and beheading was handed down and carried out immediately.


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