Chairman Vladik Will Stand for Reëlection!

19 December 2005 § Leave a comment

President of the Republic and Chairman of the Executive Council of the
Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies, Mladik Vladik.

Revodna, 9 AM — Ending literally minutes of intense speculation, Executive Council of the Central Committee Chairman Mladik Vladik announced this morning that he will stand for reëlection on 31st December for his seat in the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies. Although he had spoken recently to a few close allies of retirement from the day-to-day burdens of national leadership, he was pursuaded by his comrades to stand once again, in the interests of national unity, national continuity, and all of the citizens of Koskovia.

Many ordinary citizens of the capital city greeted the announcement with outbursts of joy. One completely ordinary citizen— Field Marshal Nicolai Ryzkov, chairman of the Central Defense Committee (pictured left) — expressed his delight at Chairman Vladik’s decision. “I am delighted that the Chairman has chosen to retain his seat in the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies, and I hope he will continue to lead the people of Koskovia along the path to True Socialism in his completely ordinary and normal dual role as Head of State and Head of Government.”

Vladik will not have to seek reëlection as President of the Republic until 2035, as per the Act Creating the Post of President of Republic as Head of State To Ease the Burdens of Office of the Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies [1995] which — in the interests of fostering political stability — set the term of office for the presidency at 40 years, with a limit of 3 terms per person elected to the office. Vladik, the first man to hold the office of President of the Republic, was elected to the position on 31st December 1995, with 99.9% of the vote. He was reëlected to his seat in the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies in that same election with 100% of the vote in his local constituency, the City of Vladikia.

The Ministry of Information reminds anyone interested in challenging an incumbent for a seat in the CPD that they must have filed a petititon with the signatures of at least five-hundred sixty-three thousand, nine-hundred and eighty one registered voters by April 1, 2005, in order to qualify. Only one person did this — Feodor Federov from Vladikia City — but he died unexpectedly this morning after accidentally strangling himself (and his wife and two children) while putting on a scarf.

Therefore, all incumbents will run un-opposed, as per usual in all the nations that make up the Great Socialist Brotherhood of Planet Earth — China, Cuba, Vietnam, North Korea, and Koskovia.

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