Civil Liberties Award

The following world leaders are the recipients of the Koskovia Civil Liberties Award, in recognition of their absolute commitment to the preservation of civil liberties among the citizens of their respective nations. They are listed in the order in which they received the K.C.L.A.:

Josef Stalin, Premier of the Soviet Union, 1929-1953

 

Francisco Franco, President of Spain, 1939-1975

 

Mao Zedong, Premier of the Peoples’ Republic of China, 1949-1976

 

Fidel Castro, Premier and President of Cuba, 1959-Present

 

Erich Honecker, Premier of the German Democratic Republic (East Germany), 1976-1989

Saddam Hussein, President of Iraq, 1979-2003

 

Kim Jong-Il, Chairman of the National Defense Commission, Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, and General Secretary of the Workers’ Party of Korea, 1994-Present

 

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, 2005-Present

 

Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation, 1999-Present

 

George W. Bush, President of the United States of America, 2001-2009

Each of these leaders has proven to be vigilant in the protection of both human and civil rights, and provide a shining example for all the world!

———

The Central Committee for the Awarding of Koskovian Awards to Worthy Award Recipients actively seeks your suggestions for future winners of the Civil Liberties Award, as well as the awards for:

• Excellence in Cinematic Achievement (previous winner: Michael Bay, director of Pearl Habor)

• Outstanding Service to Children in a Non-Sexual Way (previous winner: Michael Jackson)

• 100% Fair and Balanced News Coverage (previous winner: FOX News)

• Definitely Not a Fascist (previous winner: Dick Cheney)

• Domestic Violence Awareness (previous winner: O.J. Simpson)

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  • NATIONAL PROFILE

    National Flag!

    • The Peoples' Free Democratic Republic of Koskovia is a small nation nestled deep in some snowy mountains somewhere.

    • When the other European members of the great Communist brotherhood abandoned communism in 1989, Koskovia alone stood strong under the direction of the Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies, Mladik Vladik.

    • In 1995, the Koskovian people voted 99.9% to award Chairman Vladik the additional title of President of the Republic in a free, fair, open, honest, and transparent election, overseen by observers from North Korea, China, Cuba, and Vietnam. The .1% who voted against the measure were resettled in North Korea, China, Cuba and Vietnam, and we presume they are happy and prosperous. But we haven't heard back. Not even a postcard.

    •In 2007, the Congress of Peoples' Deputies elevated Vice-Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee Josef Kulik to the office of Deputy President by a vote of 298-2.

    • The capital of Koskovia, Revodna, does not appear on any maps for security reasons.

    • The national currency, the Lik, is currently pegged to the Euro at 1:1,948,390,875. The smallest currency unit of the Lik (Lk) is 1,000,000,000. The Central Bank beleives that the more zeros a currency has, the more important it is.

    • The current flag (pictured above) was adopted by the Congress of Peoples' Deputies on January 2, 1995. The main change was the addition of the sun emblem, and the removal of the hammer and sickle. It occured to the Deputies that no one in Koskovia used either a hammer or a sickle, but every citizen enjoyed the sun. Except the vampires.

    • Weather conditions in Koskovia are hard to predict, but there are typically 5 days of bright sunshine, and 355 days of snow and/or sleet in a given year.

    • As per Directive 78-B-94 of the Central Calendar Committee, the PFDRK does not recognize January 8, April 22, June 17, September 1, or November 9. The existence of these days is considered bourgeois fasco-capitalist propaganda.

  • NATIONAL FACTS

  • Population of Koskovia: classified.
  • GDP: classified
  • Media Outlets: State TV1, RadioKos, The Daily Truth
  • National Bird: classified
  • National Holidays: May Day, Arbor Day, Random October Afternoon.

  • POLITICAL LEADERSHIP

    EXECUTIVE:

    President of the Republic: Mladik Vladik

    Deputy President of the Republic: Josef Kulik

    LEGISLATIVE:

    Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies: Mladik Vladik

    Vice-Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies: Josef Kulik

    JUDICIAL:

    Chief Justice of the Completely Independent and Totally Legitimate Supreme Constitutional Court: Vacant (interim Chief Justice: Mladik Vladik)

    ARMED FORCES:

    Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Grand Field Marshal Nicolai Ryzkov

    Vice-Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Supreme Generalisimo Mladik Vladik

    Deputy Vice-Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Generalisimo Josef Kulik

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