About

Welcome to Koskovia! Metaphorically speaking, of course. I invented the nation of Koskovia for a short story I wrote a few years ago. Sometime last year, I came across the North Korean Central News Agency website, and I found myself literally laughing outloud at some of the so-called “news items,” all blatant frauds of course. That gave me the idea to set up this satirical blog to mock the “news media outlets” of dictatorial states.

These states include (but are not limited to):
• China
• Vietnam
• North Korea
• Cuba
• The Russian Federation (and various former Soviet republics)

Some of the posts have been — and will be — copied (almost) verbatim from the online news sites of these dictatorships (principally North Korea).

“Koskovia” is a communist state in Eastern Europe. It is governed by the Communist Party of Koskovia (CPK). Mladick Vladik serves as both the Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies (the legislative branch) and as President of the Republic (the executive branch). Dictators seem to have a fondness for long and extensive titles for themselves, so I came up with the longest title I could.

The same can be said for the official names of dictatorial nations. These states very often have “democratic” sounding titles in their official names, although they are in fact dictatorships. For example: “Democratic Republic of Vietnam”; “Democratic Peoples’ Republic of Korea”; and the “Peoples’ Republic of China”. So I created the “Peoples’ Free Democratic Republic of Koskovia.”

The photograph of “President Vladik” is really that of Nicolae Ceauşescu, the Communist dictator of Romania who was overthrown in December, 1989. The photo of “Vice-Chairman Kulik” is actually that of Slobodan Milosevic, the Communist/Nationalist dictator of Yugoslavia and later Serbia-Montenegro. The “President of Dictarabistan” is, of course, the late Saddam Hussein.

I have also begun to use this blog to comment on the state of the United States these days.

I hope you find some laughs!

———

 

Copyright © Shawn M. Lynch, 2007

Email me with any questions, comments, or ideas!

 

 

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  • NATIONAL PROFILE

    National Flag!

    • The Peoples' Free Democratic Republic of Koskovia is a small nation nestled deep in some snowy mountains somewhere.

    • When the other European members of the great Communist brotherhood abandoned communism in 1989, Koskovia alone stood strong under the direction of the Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies, Mladik Vladik.

    • In 1995, the Koskovian people voted 99.9% to award Chairman Vladik the additional title of President of the Republic in a free, fair, open, honest, and transparent election, overseen by observers from North Korea, China, Cuba, and Vietnam. The .1% who voted against the measure were resettled in North Korea, China, Cuba and Vietnam, and we presume they are happy and prosperous. But we haven't heard back. Not even a postcard.

    •In 2007, the Congress of Peoples' Deputies elevated Vice-Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee Josef Kulik to the office of Deputy President by a vote of 298-2.

    • The capital of Koskovia, Revodna, does not appear on any maps for security reasons.

    • The national currency, the Lik, is currently pegged to the Euro at 1:1,948,390,875. The smallest currency unit of the Lik (Lk) is 1,000,000,000. The Central Bank beleives that the more zeros a currency has, the more important it is.

    • The current flag (pictured above) was adopted by the Congress of Peoples' Deputies on January 2, 1995. The main change was the addition of the sun emblem, and the removal of the hammer and sickle. It occured to the Deputies that no one in Koskovia used either a hammer or a sickle, but every citizen enjoyed the sun. Except the vampires.

    • Weather conditions in Koskovia are hard to predict, but there are typically 5 days of bright sunshine, and 355 days of snow and/or sleet in a given year.

    • As per Directive 78-B-94 of the Central Calendar Committee, the PFDRK does not recognize January 8, April 22, June 17, September 1, or November 9. The existence of these days is considered bourgeois fasco-capitalist propaganda.

  • NATIONAL FACTS

  • Population of Koskovia: classified.
  • GDP: classified
  • Media Outlets: State TV1, RadioKos, The Daily Truth
  • National Bird: classified
  • National Holidays: May Day, Arbor Day, Random October Afternoon.

  • POLITICAL LEADERSHIP

    EXECUTIVE:

    President of the Republic: Mladik Vladik

    Deputy President of the Republic: Josef Kulik

    LEGISLATIVE:

    Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies: Mladik Vladik

    Vice-Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples' Deputies: Josef Kulik

    JUDICIAL:

    Chief Justice of the Completely Independent and Totally Legitimate Supreme Constitutional Court: Vacant (interim Chief Justice: Mladik Vladik)

    ARMED FORCES:

    Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Grand Field Marshal Nicolai Ryzkov

    Vice-Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Supreme Generalisimo Mladik Vladik

    Deputy Vice-Chairman of the Joint Military Command Council: Generalisimo Josef Kulik

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