Revodna, 4 p.m. — The Minister of Defense announced this afternoon the successful conclusion of the war against Dictarabistan! Following a large battle outside of the capital of Dictarabistan, Koskovian forces pulled back and met with the Supreme Commander of the Dictarabistan Armed Forces. After successful negotiations, characterized by friendly exchanges, it was agreed to end the war.
In a gesture of fraternal love and forgiveness, the PFDRK has agreed to help Dictarabistan recover by paying a sum of €500 million and withdrawing from Dictarabistan territory within 48 hours.
Acting President Tetrikov proclaimed today, 6 May, as “Victory Over Dictarabistan Celebration Day.” Thus all workers are to be released from work fifteen minutes early to join organized spontaneous celebrations.
UPDATE: There never was a war with Dictarabistan. Suggestions otherwise are un-socialist propaganda by the imperio-capitalist nations. All workers are expected to stay at work for their full shifts.
