President Still At Home

President Vladik and Deputy President Kulik are hard at work inside the presidential villa at Lake Koskovia this evening, as they have been all week, in furtherance of the Revolution!

Revodna, 5 p.m. — A spokesman for the Ministry of Information reported this afternoon that President and Chairman Vladik has not yet returned to the capital as expected.

In a letter to the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies last week, President Vladik announced his intention to return to Revodna on Monday, 21st January, to resume his duties. Deputy President Kulik travelled to the President’s villa on Lake Koskovia last week. Since then, the presidential palace has been closed while the President and Deputy President confer on various issues.

The ministry spokesman described a telephone call from the Deputy President this morning, which indicated that he and President Vladik were, in his words, “deep in conversation about a variety of topics of interest to all Koskovians.”

Those matters are, naturally, classified.

When asked by the reporter from the Daily Truth as to when the President and Deputy will return to the capital, the spokesman replied: “Soon, although they wish to achieve further collaboration in their common effort to move Koskovia closer towards true Socialism in the months and years ahead.”

President Signals Return

Deputy President Kulik as he departed for President Vladik’s country estate this afternoon.

Revodna, 2 p.m. — In a letter to the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies, President and Chairman Mladik Vladik has signaled that he will return to the capital on Monday, 21st January 2008, in order to resume his duties as President of the Republic and Chairman of the Executive Council of the Central Committee of the Congress of Peoples’ Deputies.

Deputy President and Vice-Chairman Josef Kulik read the letter to the Executive Council this afternoon. The communication indicated, in part, that the President “looks forward to once again taking up my official duties following this period of rest and recuperation. I wish to thank Deputy President Kulik for guiding the nation with a steady hand during this difficult period.

“Upon my return, I will review the recent constitutional and legal changes approved by the Executive Council. While I remain certain that these changes are perfectly in line with the Constitution of the PFDRK and our legal tradition, I believe such a review is important to the citizens of Koskovia. These changes include: the elimination of the positions of Second and Third Deputy Presidents; the re-allocation of certain duties to the Deputy President; and the dismissal of certain military, judicial, and ministerial leaders.”

The Executive Committee greeted the news with thunderous applause, led by the Deputy President.

Deputy President Kulik then gaveled the council meeting to a close with the announcement that he would be visiting President Vladik this weekend, at the President’s country estate at Lake Koskovia.